I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
