you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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