I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize