Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
