Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
