why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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