So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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