This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
