you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
