porn star boner night. come get it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
