I'm drive I can fine osifer
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
