Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
