she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
