Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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