I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
