im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
