ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
