you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
