Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
