cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
