am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
home. puking in laundry basket.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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