we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
