I want to have your abortion
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
