My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
