If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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