i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
