lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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