Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
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My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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