She said her name was "party"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This couple is walking their pig around campus
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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