we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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