I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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