she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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