Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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