wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
