i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
