He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
