As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
