On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize