I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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