Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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