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Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When did angry sex become our thing?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
