Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
