did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
