i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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