got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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