Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
