dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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