If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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