billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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