i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
