We named our party play list daddy issues
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
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After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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