I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
