Duck Duck Cougar?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
