That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wish there were birth control emojis
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize