I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
