If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
