it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize