That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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