And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
