somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
