Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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