i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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