its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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