the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
