dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize